Criminal

I have paid for the crime of trying to understand you, An unending plague withered me through my persistence. For nine months I tried to know you Tried to learn your moods, your fears, The shades of your smiles and the Textures of your company. I starved myself bone-thin to give you a feast Stood guard through the freezing nights Ensuring the wind would never graze your cheek. I pulled my hair out in clumps, Desperate to give you a nest to preen in. When you wanted to dance, I lay my body down to be your floor. I have repented for the crime of studying you, My bones are all cracked or cleaved, My heart and feet are bruised The tumultuous path to you left me wounded Sore, wasted away, shriveled. I am sorry that I ever tried. I am sorry that I ever longed for you. Even with my eyes gouged out of my head, With rivers of blood coursing from my cheeks I still wish I knew you best, that you’d wanted to let me in. Mind shattered, abused and tormented, Yet still I think back to your peaceful smile Calm and contented with our simplicity The easy joys I worked so hard to give you Maybe you would have been better off Without having known me at all Without me having tried to earn your love. A rabid animal can never be rehabilitated.